Spam

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I always keep an eye on the Spam folder, incase any of the regular readers comments get thrown in there, it doesn’t happen very often but Pete and Vinnie both had trouble with losing comments to spam at one point, so I do a regular check.  A lot of spam is just marketing people trying to drum up business, but now and again something weird and wonderful turns up which leaves me floundering for understanding, or just makes me laugh.  I’ve saved all of them from 2017 and I’m sharing them here before collecting the next lot!

Sadly I didn’t record who some of these came from..

“By dealing together, both of you can address problems of self-esteem and mutual trust. Use these circumspectly however, because they may lower blood sugar levels, that is an unhealthy effect in men whose blood sugar are properly balanced.”

I pondered this for some time, does my blog give the impression that Phil & I have low self esteem and don’t trust each other?? We were worried I can tell you! I had Phil bring home a blood sugar checking machine from work and we deduced that our self-esteem and trust must be OK as our blood sugars are fine. What a relief!

 

Adеlaіdа, 31, hоusеwіfе: “I did а shаllоw рееling for clеаnіng. Thе rеsult wаs vеry gооd, I lіkеd everythіng vеry muсh. Gоnе arе finе wrinkles, thе skin hаs bесоme morе еvеn. ”
Nаоmi, 37 yеars оld, dіrесtоr: “I dіd my faсe cleanіng in the sаlon – my сomplеxiоn chаnged аftеr dеlіvеry. Thе rеsult pleаsеd, but thе соst оf сleаnіng was quіtе high, оften this will nоt аllow. ”

I assume that Adelaida and Naomi have both seen the series of selfies I did during 2016 and came to the conclusion I need peeling. I am not offended (much).

 

“I noticed a lump under my armpit. First it was small. The pain was not felt. Now rub and increasing. My friends such do not. The other day heard that it can be severe disease. But most likely, obviously fatty lump. Found clear information about this lump. Now I’m not afraid of terrible diagnosis. Everything is clear and detail is written down to the smallest detail.
Many have problems with the armpits. There are a lot of bacteria. Later formed balls. They can be painful, but not always. It is better to know in advance about this problem. In this case there will be no fear of horror. Good, that now I understand this.”

I was very grateful to be informed about the horrors of lumpy armpits, who wouldn’t be? Of course I checked immediately on receipt of this info and can happily say mine are smooth as a baby’s bum! But I’m keeping a close eye on them.

 

“Ꭲhat is such a enjoyavle sρort and we had a perfect birthday Daddy.?
Lrry added. ?Can we pⅼay ?What?s the best factor аbout God?
tomorrow too?? he begged his Mommy.WE WILL.? They botһ shօutеdd they usually ran to the bedroom bickering about wwho
will ɡet too go first.”

So many questions to answer in there that I never got round to. Still trying to work out the best factor about God, and why that’s where it is in this little story. Mind officially boggled!

 

From Lebians Humping

“Magnificent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just too great.
I really like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what
you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and
you still take care of to keep it wise.”

I kept this purely because I like the thought of Lebians Humping.  I gave a fair amount of thought to what a Lebian is, maybe a small mouse-like creature, some exotic amphibian or maybe even an alien race.  I went with Alien Race in the end as the Lebian who wrote it a) can write and b) thinks I’m a man, probably hasn’t been on earth that long.

 

From Tyson F. Gautreaux

Graves at Lanercost Priory

I used this post , Thank you

That had me excited! Where was it used, what accolades have I been given for my post?? I went to Tyson’s website and found it is a very posh arabic cosmetic clinic’s website, where you can have a tattoo, or have your bald head cured, and various other procedures, I am wondering if Adelaide and Naomi sent him. No sign of the Graves at Lanercost Priory though, my hopes of fame dashed completely.

 

And those are the Best of 2017, really looking forward to this year’s crop. 🤣

 

 

34 thoughts on “Spam”

  1. That Larry/Daddy/God one I get around ten times a week. That’s the one I featured in my post ‘Spam Jack’. Some of this stuff is genuinely hilarious though, and I am also pleased to report that my armpits are clear of fatty lumps. Mind you, what was that about curing a bald head?…
    (Of course, I now want a Spam sandwich, after seeing the header photo! Yum.)
    Best wishes, Pete.

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      1. I was always a Spam fan as a boy, (fritters) and bought some last year, after seeing something about it on GP Cox’s site. I ate it cold in sandwiches then.
        It hasn’t changed! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hahaha 😂😂 Oh man, this was seriously funny. I liked the one with the lumpy arm pits the best. Seriously though. I often find myself wondering where these things come from…it is one of life’s great mysteries lol 😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. I’m a vegetarian, so I’m not going to tell you that I love Spam in any form. Larry and Daddy certainly get about. It’s a shame no one understands what they want. I get foreign spam, as well, which really boggles my mind. How does someone expect to gain anything to make a comment in Portuguese on my blog?

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  7. What I really enjoy about these spam – which I get a lot of, too – is their marvelous use of the English language. Where is that “s” in third person singular, simple present? Even if they use spell check, too vs two vs to is so funny to see misused. One I get a lot is “your blog loads so quickly you must be a great webmaster!” That one is good for a laugh – WordPress does the work, not me. Etc.

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  10. Reblogged this on Touch My Spine Book Reviews and commented:
    So, I was having a rough day and have to see the doctor today and decided to check out my friend Fraggle’s page! This is her other one, well the title explains that! Fraggle is an awesome blogger, photographer @ fragglerocking.com and friend! You guys should definitely check her out!😘 You can start by reading this hilarious post she wrote in regards to her spam folder! Freaking awesome and hilarious!

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  13. What an interesting post, it is very well written and has plenty of information. It would be good if it would reach a broader audience, Have you hear about SEO tools to improve the reach and number of your visitors? please click in my nick for more data.

    hehe just kidding xD I recall that that was more or less the tone of the spam in my blog, a very neutral comment about a post that was not read and then advertisement to get more views. You have had far more variety and even I would say more than spammers you have story tellers. It was very funny. n_n

    Liked by 1 person

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