Thursday Thoughts

After crazy brain week last week 🙄 things are now back to normal, I’m back to being incensed at everything going on in the world, the madness of politics and politicians, and reading the newspaper daily is just a rollercoaster that dips but never seems to rise. I’ve had a nice week though, busy but productive at work, and had a photo outing with Sophie on Sunday, we went to Newcastle as Sophie wanted to shoot the bridges, and had a wander up the Sunday Market on the quayside. That’ll be a Fraggle report eventually.

My stepdad was in the RAF, and when Mum married him we moved from Yorkshire and then moved a few times to different airbases, Lincolnshire and Norfolk mostly, before I left home to do nursing in Luton Bedfordshire, eventually ending up at Hemel Hempstead hospital in Hertfordshire, so uprooting and moving on was a big part of my younger life, and has never really phased me. I spent 20 years working at Hemel Hospital and also ST.Albans when they became a Trust together, and lived in a few different flats and houses. That 20 years saw me married, give birth, get divorced, get medically retired, retrain as a sports massage therapist, do odd jobs to keep going, became a deputy matron of a care home, and mostly lived a life of chaos and uncertainty but somehow managed. My Mum got cancer and she didn’t live near me so for 2 years of that 20 I spent a lot of time driving up and down to visit her, and when she had 3 months in Addenbrooks hospital, a long way away, I visited regularly and my son was my source of strength at the time and came with me on all my visits. In 2004 she died and my lad left home that year too.  In spite of all the chaos and difficulties, I had friends and good times, my garden was Bar-B-Q city most weekends, with the neighbours hopping over and guitars and singing going on and I still found a lot of fun in life.

When I moved up here to be with Phil in 2005 I left all that behind,  it didn’t phase me, I was used to moving on.  My life changed when I started living with Phil, he has a fairly big family and friends from his younger years and work have known him a long time. I still sometimes understand I don’t always really fit in. I don’t have a group of friends to hang out with, or even my son who now has a son of his own, I rarely get to see them. I miss that, and after crazy brain week was feeling that isolation a lot.  But I have Sophie to go out photographing with, and Brenda, my boss but friend also, she makes me laugh and is so kind too.  My mum always said ‘count your blessings’ and those are two of mine.  I am blessed to have my life with Phil, and I love his family, especially our bonkers grandkids.  It’s been good to come back to that.  I love the scenery up here, the beaches and the North Sea, the castles and landscapes and history.  Newcastle is a beautiful city with amazing architecture ancient and modern, and getting out to see it with Sophie did me the world of good.  Plus the metro was shut for repair so we had to go on a bus! Very exciting as I hadn’t been on one since being a teenager! 🙂


Sophie & me