Thursday Thoughts

The first thing I’ve been thinking about today is a 3 part series I’ve been watching on BBC.  It’s called Three girls, and is based on the true stories of victims of grooming and sexual abuse in Rochdale. It’s a hard watch, brilliantly acted by the 3 main young actresses and with the great talent of Maxine Peake taking the part of a health worker who worked hard to get police and social services involved to stop what was going on, to no avail at first.  The exposure of the grooming, sexual assault and trafficking of young girls in Rochdale – and how their case had been systematically ignored by the police and social services for years – shook the country when the scandal was made public in 2012. It eventually resulted in the conviction of nine men for serious sexual offences, including rape and human trafficking, inflicted on girls as young as 13 between 2005 and 2008. So not an easy watch, but on reading an interview with the lady who wrote the drama it became apparent the victims she interviewed wanted their stories told.  It IS an appalling story, but worth watching if you have the BBC Iplayer.  Link HERE

The second thing I’ve been thinking about is my shed 🙂 and today Frego made an appearance and is living there now, of course she came with Skego, and seeing them together affected me somewhat unexpectedly and I spent a good few moments weeping for the the loss of Skye,  I hadn’t realised I was still not over the crying part of missing her.

The third thing I’ve been thinking of is the things that are growing in my garden.  I have a plant I bought to put over where Yoyo and Herky are buried in the garden, I can’t remember what it’s called.  It hadn’t really done very well over the past couple of years but this year it’s really doing well, and the first flower is out, with lots more buds about to come out too.

My cauliflowers are beginning to pop up but are so tiny yet, can’t believe they will grow into big round veggies

Whilst topping up the bird bath I noticed some tiny blue flowers behind it under the leilandi hedge I’m thinking they are Forget-me-nots,

and under the other end of the hedge I found a little purple flower but have no idea what it is

This morning saw some nice weather so I put some washing on, and then all of a sudden the room went dark, had a look outside and saw this

dodgy Iphone pano

and decided not to hang the washing out, which was just as well as that big grey monster dumped all over us.

Still this evening we were treated to this

which kind of made up for the earlier stuff. 🙂

Done thinking now, time for a glass of wine and finish watching a DVD documentary we are doing at the minute,  which will also be written about at some point.

laters gaters

 

 

 

Thursday Thoughts

I guess most of you reading this will know that our cat Skye got too ill to carry on at the weekend, and on Tuesday the trip to the vet happened, bloody traumatic but I’m sure those with pets will know the score on that one.  I don’t want to bang on about how much it hurts, or how many tears I cried, or how I howled over her when I got her back home, that about covers it. Today Phil dug a hole next to where her sister Storm  was buried in the garden last year, and we put Skye in the ground. I have no more tears, the pain is screwed up inside me and there it stays, I have a fair bit of practice at that.   Skye was Phil’s special friend and today has been hard on him.

But I want to remember her as she was before she got poorly, a slightly bonkers, incredibly friendly, loving cat, beautiful to look at and so damned cute. We miss her so much already.  ❤

Monday Mobile Moments

My mobile moments today are not really very mobile, and mostly consist of cuddling the cat.  Skye isn’t well now, she’s only eating a tiny bit and didn’t manage anything yesterday, she’s weak and wobbly on her legs so we made the decision that it’s the right time to let her go.  That cost both me and Phil a lot of tears, and they are not far from my eyes today.  The vet didn’t have appointments today so tomorrow morning will be the time for our goodbyes.  I came home from work at 3 this afternoon and she came for cuddles when I sat at the table, and that’s all I’ve done. It’s all I want to do. One more night with our beauty.

 

 

Thursday Thoughts

Spring is nearly upon us, only 11 days to go to the vernal equinox on March 20th, it can’t come soon enough. We’ve had a few sunny days which has been great for Phil who is using his 2 week holiday to insulate my woman~cave, so much to do to get it up and running, can’t wait for it to be finished so I can move in and start doing mosaics again.

 We’ve also had our lounge/front room/parlour (whatever you call it) decorated, washed the curtains and had the carpets cleaned so it looks lovely and clean and bright now.  The sun doesn’t get in that side of the house so I wanted white walls to make the most of the light.

We don’t really have plastic shopping bag lampshades, 🙂 they were for protection from the ceiling paint.

However busy we are, our main thoughts are with Skye, who is still not giving in, but isn’t eating enough and isn’t getting around so much, she mostly curls up in her space and sleeps, but oh she still wants her cuddles and purrs away when she’s snuggled up with me at the table where I read. What we can’t get our heads around is that she’ll be obviously hungry but won’t eat the cat food we put out, we try her on different ones, and when it’s something new she will have a good feed, but give it to her the next time and she won’t have it. Today I gave her some tinned salmon and she yummed it up, but now won’t have it again. It drives us mad. She’s not drinking water (never has!) but she likes cream, so we buy her pots of that! Salmon and cream I ask you!! We keep discussing taking her to the vet but I keep coming across the thought that you do that to ‘put them out of their misery’ but she isn’t miserable when she’s snuggled up and purring or sleeping, so it doesn’t feel right. So hard to know what do do for the best, for her best.

waiting for snuggles by my iPad

checking out the woman~cave

Yesterday I bought some flowers to photograph, shot them this afternoon and used various processing techniques on the photo’s to give a different feel to each one, I love doing flower pics 🙂

Monday Mobile Moment

Am working extra this week as our receptionist (sorry- practice manager) is away on a cruise around Indonesia and the Caribbean. Alright for some!  Anyway I’m working longer hours and extra days to fill in for her.  So Skye not too happy about being without her staff for most of the day, and as soon as I came home and sat down for 10 mins with a cup of tea, she was in my face being annoying and eating my flowers. 🙂

skeats

Monday Mobile Moments

We thought Skye had reached the end yesterday, she didn’t eat, drink, poop or piddle, and was wobbly on her feet. Thought we’d be going to the vet today, but as is her wont overnight she ate every scrap left out for her, and has been sure footed and eating and drinking some today, so we’re holding off for today and see how she is over the next couple of days. This is hard.

Thursday Thoughts

Quiet days and nights this week, as Phil is on night shift, so I am alone at night while he is at work, and alone all day being quiet as a mouse while he sleeps. I get a lot of thinking done. Not that I don’t think at other times, just more so for longer periods of time. I read the newspaper every day, and watch the news, it’s impossible to not think about what’s happening in the world, impossible not to be horrified, impossible not to feel hopeless or bereft too sometimes. The speed at which Trump is upturning everything President Obama did is mind boggling, his obsession with the numbers attending his inauguration is inexplicable to a normal brain, his lies are heart breaking. And I’m not even American. Today I heard the entire senior staff of the state dept resigned en mass. Along with all this stuff I watched 2 TV programmes that did my brain in even more, ‘President Obama in his own words’, how that man was thwarted over gun control background checks, and the affordable care act. I cannot comprehend the stupidity, the lack of compassion, but then, I’m not American. I also watched a BBC drama from 2015 called “The Eichmann Show”, a film telling the true-life story of how the trial of one of the Second World War’s most notorious Nazis, Adolf Eichmann, was brought to a global audience. I can only recommend it, brilliant acting, sometimes harrowing, but felt so important to see. In 1961 former Nazi Adolf Eichmann is captured by Israeli agents and put on trial. American television producer Milton Fruchtman fervently believes that the trial with its witness accounts of Nazi atrocities should be televised to show the world the evils of the Holocaust and to combat any resurgence of Nazism and joins forces with black-listed director Leo Hurwitz. Despite death threats, reluctance to cooperate from several networks and even resistance from the Israeli prime minister David Ben-Gurion, who fears a ‘show trial’, the pair persist and move their cameras into the court-room. Edited daily and shown in some three dozen countries the ‘Eichmann Show’ becomes the first ever global television documentary. At the end of the programme the real Milton Fruchtman back in 1961 addresses the camera,

“For each of us who has ever felt that god created us better than any other human being has stood on the threshold where Eichmann once stood, and each of us who has allowed the shape of someone’s nose, or the colour of their skin, or the manner in which they worship their god, to poison our feelings towards them, have known the loss of reason that led Eichmann to his madness, for this was how it all began, with those who did these things”

46 years on and this still is relevant today. We should be way beyond this. The programme is still available on the BBC i-player and just needs to be seen.

Today my quiet time was mostly reading a novel set in our country in the time of King Edward 2nd and his lover, a most evil man called Hugh Despenser. I know Henry 8th or Elizabeth 1st is probably the most popular history for people, but this period in our history is fascinating and just as awesomely awful. The cat has been my constant companion. I sit at the table to read, and she lies down in front of the iPad and snuggles up into the curve of my arms and sleeps mostly. She is going down hill now, the tumour is taking her a little bit at a time. She can no longer miaow for some reason, just croaks, and I can feel a lump in her neck so presume a secondary tumour may be causing that. But she can still eat, loads. She eats loads because she is sick twice a day and the other end is liquid 3 or 4 times a day, so she must be eating to try and compensate for losing the nutrients at both ends. She is still agile and can easy jump up onto the kitchen bench, she still adores Phil and sits on him anytime she can, makes do with me when he isn’t here. No sign of discomfort or pain, still chipper when we get up in the morning or come home from work, and I marvel at that, all this stuff going on inside her yet she’s still OK in herself. But it won’t be long I fear, we watch her like hawks, she won’t be allowed to suffer. It’s a painful love for us to feel.

I like to listen to Spotify or the radio when I’m at my computer, and the iMac internal speakers are OK, but our house is one of serious hi-fi equipment, and Phil has populate our rooms with Bowers & Wilkins speakers, I have a B&W zeppelin for my iPod, so the iMac sound is disappointing. Last week I found on eBay a pair of B&W speakers specifically made for laptop/destops, they are expensive of course, but these were half the price as they didn’t come with a power adapter. So we got them, and ordered a power adapter for £15, and it all arrived today, so I have them all set up, and my ears are happy, beautiful sound reproduction.

Catbed days

Having the flu and being so ill with it has put an inglorious end to the 365, I haven’t picked up my camera for a week now, so it isn’t viable. I still don’t feel like doing photography either so my Mojo has taken a severe thwack. The walking thing is also not viable at the minute. Although I’m on the mend I’m not 100% better physically, and even less mentally. There’s a lethargy in my brain that doesn’t want to shift. Feels like my creative goals have been erased so I am in a strange limbo.
I am not a great TV watcher, but this past few days, being capable of little else except coughing or sleeping, have watched a fair amount of edumacational documentaries which at least kept my mind off how bad I felt. Skye has taken advantage of my incapacitation by making of me a human bed. Yesterday I managed to do some housework, and today I went to the shop, so tomorrow I’m going back to work, and in the evening going out to dinner with Phil and his sister & brother-in-law, in the hopes that acting normal will result in being normal.

catbed1                catbed2                catbed3